Release Day Blitz
Complicate Me
Best Selling Author M.
ROBINSON
Cover
Design: Rebecca Marie at The Final
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It was complicated, it was
also just the beginning.
A decision.
A simple choice.
There is always that one
moment in life where things could have been different. That
one moment where
you could have chosen a path that would lead you down a
certain road.
A different life.
It was easier to pretend that
we were still best friends, and that she was my girl and I
was her boy.
Pretending was better than
knowing the truth...
I. Ruined. Us.
I had her.
I lost her.
I love her.
All I did was complicate us.
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My brown eyed girl sat on our blankets with her
arms wrapped around her knees, hiding her face. The tiny frame that I
adored so much shook uncontrollably, only heightening the deepest sobbing
that escalated with each passing second. It was such an
intimate moment, not to be shared with anyone, especially me. Alex
didn’t cry. I watched her bawl for the first time in my life. I had
never seen anyone cry like that before, and it shook me to my core,
slicing me whole, and making me feel like I
was dying. Carving a memory that I would take to my grave.
There was no going back…
No erasing.
No do overs.
No deleting.
What I witnessed tonight would be my purgatory; I
would now close my eyes and forever see her falling apart in front of
me. Shattering before my very own eyes and I found it hard
to breathe.
Hard to move.
My feet were glued to the goddamn floor as she
continued to weep, sob, bawl, violently sucking in air that wasn’t
available. I accepted it all; each tear that fell from her
face becoming pieces of me. Circulating through my veins and blood, it
flowed
endlessly, a river of her sadness and sorrow and of my
broken promises. No
beginning or ending to her cries, just an infinite current,
flooding the hole
where my heart should be. The shadow of her trembling petite
body reflected off
the walls, leaving a trail of regrets in its
wake.
Mine.
Hers.
Ours.
Growing up in a small town you overheard a lot of
things. People talking, stories told, town gossip. You listened a lot.
You learned a lot. Tourists, townies, friends, and especially family
all shared wisdom and advice that you think you will never need.
Bunch of bullshit. They say you have that one
moment in life where
things
could have been different, that one moment that changes the course of
your life or the direction you could have taken. That one
moment that could
forever change you and everything you wanted to be true,
everything you wanted
to believe.
One simple decision
could alter your entire future.
My entire world.
I would forever remember this moment for the rest
of my life. This is the moment that changed everything. This is the
moment where I took another direction, another road that led me to my
own demise. My own regrets. I should have walked in
there. I should have apologized. I should have begged for
her forgiveness. I
should have promised that I would never hurt her again. I
should have done
whatever it took to make her look at me the way she had our
entire lives.
But I didn’t…
I did none of those things…
Not one.
Nothing was said between us.
No words.
No actions.
I was a coward and couldn’t do it. I couldn’t see
her like that. I couldn’t look into her eyes and know that I had hurt
her. That I had disappointed her. That I ruined her love and lost her
respect for me. The boy who promised he would never hurt
her.
The boy who swore he would always protect
her.
The boy who vowed he would never let anything
happen to her.
That same boy was me.
I was the reason she was bawling.
I was the reason she was hurt.
I was the reason she was broken.
She knew the truth. It had finally caught up to me…
I shattered her illusion that I was hers. I ruined the one good thing
I had in my life. The girl that owned my heart was bleeding out for me
in a way that I had never seen before. The house was no longer our
safe place.
I had brought my hurricane with me…
I couldn’t risk the possibility of losing her
permanently if I walked in there and admitted my truths. She wouldn’t
love me anymore, she wouldn’t look at me the same anymore, and she
wouldn’t be mine anymore.
My brown eyed girl.
The girl that I had loved all of my
life.
The same girl that I would
love for the rest of my life.
Alexandra.
I gave her the only comfort I could in her moment
of despair. I turned around and left. I walked down the stairs and got
into my truck. I turned the engine on and drove my sorry ass home. I
took a shower and never once looked at myself in the mirror. I
pretended that nothing changed. That I didn’t cause her
pain, and that she
didn’t know the truth. That I didn’t see her sobbing and
that she wasn’t even
bawling to begin with. That we were still just best friends,
and that she was
my girl and I was her boy.
My Half-Pint and her Bo.
It was better than knowing…
I ruined us.
Best Selling Author M. Robinson loves to read. She
favors anything that has angst,
romance, triangles, cheating, love, and of course sex! She
has been reading
since the Babysitters Club and R.L. Stein.
She was born in New Jersey but was raised in Tampa
Fl. She is currently pursuing
her Ph.D in psychology, with two years left.
She is married to an amazing man who she loves to pieces. They have
two German
Shepherd mixes and a Tabby cat.
FACEBOOK:
www.facebook.com/authormrobinson
TWITTER: www.twitter.com/authormrobinson
INSTAGRAM:
www.instagram.com/authormrobinson
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